The Juarez Border Sports Book

Race-Superbook_740x498

GAME OF THE WEEK
Kali Kine at Congo.Natty
A Pyrrhic victory for the C.Nat by 1 point, suffers several more injuries, Over / Under 248

The El Paso Rougnecks at Z’Smashmouths
Z by 15, Over / Under : 230

NRM at SBJ
God beats Metal by 5 like a blacksmith, Over / Under 228.5

Big Lunch at Cangniner
The buffet eats for free all day by 17, Over / Under 245

Jake & Elwood Blues at Blind Squirrels
Blues Brothers squeak one out by 4 points, Over / Under 232

Ronan Machine at Miki’s Mokes
Mokes win this mud wrestling match by 2, Over / Under 225

2015 Week 5 Power Rankings

 

You guys could use a little culture.

  1. Big Lunch – No Change – H1 – L6
    • A gift emerges. 
    • A Freeman will rise above. 
    • Brown cries for his Ben.
  2.   Kali Kine – No Change – H2 – L6 
    • Sometimes with great strength. 
    • Also at times a weak foe. 
    • Or many weak foe.
  3.   Z’Smashmouths – UP 3 – H2 – L8 
    • A knee has been torn. 
    • Many spectacular duds. 
    • Smash wins anyway.
  4.   Jake & Elwood Blues – Down 1 – H3 – L9 
    • True anomalies.  
    • The Blues may make the playoffs. 
    • The Cubs might win.
  5.   congo.natty – Down 1 –  H1 – L4

    • Warrior arrives.
    • The battlefield is empty. 
    • The battle is won.
  6.   Sweet Baby Jesus – Down 1 – H4 – L8 
    • I have no QB. 
    • He was lost on the bench. 
    • Martin just broke out.
  7.   NINERS R METAL – Up 1 – H6 – L12 
    • A bad deal was made. 
    • The Gurley is quite manly. 
    • Still just two and three.
  8.   Miki’s Mokes – Down 1 – H2 – L8 
    • Two men carry eight. 
    • A savior comes through the Gates. 
    • The burden is great.
  9.   RonanMachine – No Change – H7 – L12
    • An unlikely run.  
    • Former champ with no Willie.  
    • Bell will be the key.
  10.   Cangniner – No Change – H9 – L11
    • Their allegiance strong.  
    • Fierce loyalty not repaid. 
    • An old general.
  11.   Blind Squirrels – No Change – H4 – L11 
    • The damaged can heal.  
    • With mended parts, the same man?  
    • Mr.  Anderson.
  12.  The Roughnecks- Down 1 – H9 – L12 
    • Thrive in the below. 
    • Dwellers in forgotten slums. 
    • Settled and in peace.

2015 Week 4 Power Rankings

Each team in 5 words.

  1.   Big Lunch – Up 1 – H1 – L6 – Atlanta’s line looks pretty good.
  2.   Kali Kine – Up 2 – H2 – L6 – Four and zero.  That’s perfect.
  3.   Jake & Elwood Blues – No Change – H3 – L9 – Definitely J&E’s best start ever.
  4.   congo.natty – Down 3 –  H1 – L4 – Worried about the running game.
  5.   Sweet Baby Jesus – Up 1 – H4 – L8 – Big week coming.  Big Lunch.
  6.   Z’Smashmouths – UP 1 – H2 – L8 – Things are definitely looking up.
  7.   Miki’s Mokes – Down 2 – H2 – L7 –Gronk back,  just in time.
  8.   NINERS R METAL – Down 2 – H6 – L12 – Cam Chancellor can suck it.
  9.   RonanMachine – Up 3 – H7 – L12 – Looking better, just as predicted.
  10.   Cangniner – Down 1 – H9 – L11 – Fear not, Roughnecks are coming.
  11.   Blind Squirrels – Down 1 – H4 – L11 – Hey players, heal more quicker!
  12.  The Roughnecks- Down 1 – H9 – L12 – Started from the bottom #nowwehere

 

2015 Week 3 Power Rankings

Things have stabilized too quickly.   Bye weeks are coming, weak depth will be revealed.  It’s time for a shake up.

  1.   Congo.natty – No Change –  H1 – L3 – Can’t move Big Lunch up, so long as the natty’s keep winning.   Joe certainly helped keep the streak alive, but 144 points is still a nice week.
  2.   Big Lunch – No Change – H1 – L6 –  Devonta Freeman for 3 TD’s?  Are you kidding me?  Everything is clicking right now.
  3. Jake & Elwood Blues – Up 1 – H3 – L9 – If Julio and Allen keep playing like this, the Blues may come away with more championships this year than the Bears get wins.
  4.   Kali Kine – Down 1 – H2 – L6 –  Losing Big Ben is a little easier to swallow when you still score 156 points and storm to 3-0.
  5.  Miki’s Mokes – No Change – H2 – L5 – That’s why you keep Aaron Rodgers when it seems to make no sense at all.   To deliver 47 points and a Monday night win that seemed improbable at best.
  6. Sweet Baby Jesus – Up 1 – H4 – L8 – Hard luck losers in week 3, this still seems like a team destined to finish in the top 6.  Build an ark, weather the storm.
  7. Z’Smashmouths – UP 1 – H2 – L8 – Thrilling victory Monday night!  Fortunate to be 2-1 at this stage, Smash nation knows they’re going to need to show more to make the playoffs.
  8.  NINERS R METAL – Down 2 – H6 – L12 – It was a week of brutal matchups.  Let’s see what week 4 and the arrival of Tyrod the Terrific brings.
  9.   Cangniner – No Change – H9 – L11 – One of the better teams in the league, with one of the poorest coaching staffs.  C’mon man!  You can love the Niners and still be good at fantasy football.   It’s allowed.
  10.   Blind Squirrels – No Change – H4 – L10 – This team might have been pretty good if it could get itself on the field to play a full game healthy. 
  11.  The Roughnecks- No Change – H9 – L11 – No Edleman… this might be the Roughnecks final week in the 11 spot.  Honestly, it feels a little like charity.
  12.   RonanMachine – No Change – H7 – L12 – I Still think this they’re better than 0-3.   Cobb, Bell, and Ryan are going to win the Machine’s some games.  Keep your core group together, keep trotting them out there, and good things will happen.

цонго.натты war journal X.I

“If we are victorious in one more battle with the Romans, we shall be utterly ruined.” –  Pyrrhus of Epirus 279 BC

Due to Global Warming induced flooding in the Congo River Delta, preparations for X campaign were sadly minimal. However, a scratch A-Team was drafted and has By the Mustache of Stalin has surprisingly rolled through two operations against the Western opposition to head into week three of the campaign at 2-0. Alarmingly, casualties have been excessive – the last operation against the evil bearded white baby of the cross involved the loss of our Brees, Lacy, Hyde, Cameron and Sefarian-Jenkins which has left leadership shocked and dejected.

ps. I’m scared

2015 Week 2 Power Rankings

8 out of the 12 teams are 1-1, with just 2 teams undefeated.  Are we all equally good now, or just equally bad?

  1.   Congo.natty – No Change –  H1 – L3 – With Abdullah coming back down to earth, the injuries to Brees and Lacy are a concern, but Cooper, Johnson and Gio have emerged.  Roller coaster week for the Natty’s, but they stay on top.
  2.   Big Lunch – Up 4 – H1 – L6 –  The reigning champ and points leader after 2 weeks.  Things seem deliciously on track for Big Lunch.  The Coleman injury should help plug the RB woes for now.
  3.   Kali Kine – Up 4 – H2 – L6 –  Our draft host remains undefeated, but with too many players only sporadically involved in their offense, it’s tough to go any higher than 3.
  4.   Jake & Elwood Blues – Down 1 – H3 – L9 – Another solid performance despite the loss.  16 targets for Crabtree?  That’s going to make for some tricky lineup decisions.
  5.   Miki’s Mokes – Down 3 – H2 – L5 – A brutal week, and a Monday night loss to rival Z’Smashmouths.   Maybe they could have dropped further?  The Evans no show, and the Baltimore debacle were the difference, but the usage of Charles Johnson in Minnesota is definitely concerning.
  6.  NINERS R METAL – UP 6 – H6 – L12 – Always humble, NRM requested we just let the numbers speak for themselves.  I don’t give a rats ass about their requests tho.  This was the best we’ve seen them in a long time.  A competitive NRM is good for ratings.
  7.   Sweet Baby Jesus – Down 3 – H4 – L8 – It’s hard to imagine this bad Luck will continue.  The Colts will be fine, and Jesus will ascend.   The team still looks solid on paper. 
  8.   Z’Smashmouths – No Change – H2 – L8 – A nice game for Marshall sealed win #1, but the future here is murky.  Some light performers in the starting lineup, and not a lot of playable options on the bench.  Hill should get his regular workload in week 3, but he better not fumble again…
  9.   Cangniner – Up 3 – H9 – L11 – Nice bounce back week for Cangniner, nice second half for Peyton Manning.  Also, I very much wish we lived in a world where Jarryd Hayne was a startable RB2.  I do love your optimism Joe.
  10.   Blind Squirrels – Down 2 – H4 – L10 – Bradford, Randle, Anderson and Jeffery are not players trending in the right direction.  Still time to bounce back, but it needs to start soon.  Will we see the debut of Carson Palmer?
  11.  The Roughnecks- Down 2 – H9 – L11 – Let’s stay positive here.  Julian Edleman has been the steal of the draft. 
  12.   RonanMachine – Down 2 – H7 – L12 – There’s enough weapons here for the Machines to be rationally optimistic.  The running game is actually pretty formidable now that Bell is back to anchor.  This shouldn’t be a long visit to the cellar. 

2015 Week 1 Power Rankings

Congo.natty’s got the power?  Or am I just jinxing him?

  1.   Congo.natty – Up 2 –  H1 – L3 – 160 points and they didn’t even start the right TE.    Probably a fluke…
  2.   Miki’s Mokes – Up 3 – H2 – L5 – And they did it with Mike Evans injured and Bishop Sankey’s 22 on the bench.
  3.   Jake & Elwood Blues – Up 7 – H1 – L3 – It’s possible the draft grade was arbitrarily low due to Russell Wilson, but then again I didn’t force you to take him in the draft.   Top Points for the week!
  4.   Sweet Baby Jesus – Up 4 – H4 – L8 – I guess it’s a pretty impressive showing considering Sammy Watkins bageled.
  5.   Kali Kine – UP 1 – H5 – L6 – If I could swap rosters with anyone right now, this would be the team.
  6.   Big Lunch – Down 5 – H1 – L6 – Still one of the obviously better teams, but you’re no Ric Flair.
  7.   Z’Smashmouths – Down 5 – H2 – L7 – Close loss due to Eli, but a bunch of players look solid.
  8.   Blind Squirrels – Down 4 – H4 – L8 – Terrance Williams stock goes up, but CJ Anderson’s crashes.  At least the Cowboy’s running game is sorted out.
  9.  The Roughnecks- Up 2 – H9 – L11 – Maybe should be lower with the loss of Dez, but the week 1 results were better than expected.
  10.   RonanMachine – Down 3 – H7 – L10 – A lot to be concerned about, but Lewis was a nice add, and their best player hasn’t hit the field yet, so still some potential.
  11.   Cangniner – Down 1 – H10 – L11 –  A poor week 1 coupled with injuries to Jackson and Bush, but still a lot of weapons here.  A lot hinges on Denver’s performance Thursday night.
  12.   NINERS R METAL – WTF