Me > Texted my folks I wanted to buy a kayak.
Me > My mom said, “Oh shit, partner.  You’re gonna drown.”
Me > Told her, “No stress, momma.  I’m gonna wear arm floaties
like a little kid.”
Me > Said I needed a vest and goggles.
Me > The fuck man you know how awesome I would look.  Mom
comes through with a big tip.
EVE Bro > well yeah you need a vest
EVE Bro > what you need goggles for